My ‘Red Flag’

This week has been very tough for me and I know because I haven’t been sleeping well. Since I was little I have been a great sleeper. My mom has always said I love my sleep and I do not fight it, haha. When I can’t sleep or find myself losing sleep, it’s a red flag that I need to “check-in” with myself and look at what I need to let go of, change or adjust.

If you haven’t already, find out what that red flag is for you.

With everything in the last year, all the change, three moves, and even MORE loss that hasn’t been shared about, I have learned a lot about how much stress I can handle. And better yet, when it’s too much.

As I talked about earlier this year in this post, events that are really hard right now, you’ll grow from and hopefully learn something from that you wouldn’t have otherwise.

Realizing this has made me very grateful for what has happened because I am way stronger and more self-aware of what I need and what makes me happy. Would I want to do it again? Absolutely freaking not. But I am grateful to be who I am because of it.

I have had this week off from work since I left my Chick-fil-A and haven’t started a new job yet. I totally felt like I was making the right choice and was completely at peace that it would all work out when I decided to leave. But in the last few days working I felt like I had made the wrong choice. I am a people pleaser and have gotten much better at learning more about ME and what I need. Although, there are still times it cripples me when I know I am disappointing someone and or what they thought I would fulfill for them.

Specifically, if I tell someone I will do something, then change my mind.

I started to look at other jobs and had an interview the same day I planned to talk to the CFA owner about staying… yes I changed my mind about leaving. I felt completely stuck. Overwhelmed. And very frustrated that I couldn’t just pick what was best for me. Everyone says ‘just do what is best for you’. That saying doesn’t work for people who feel like they’ll disappoint someone else with either decision. They feel like they physically can’t. It is hard to describe if you haven’t experienced it.

I felt completely different than the week before. The week before I was waking up at 4:30 just about each morning to write blog posts, listen to podcasts, get inspired or get ideas for recipes and such to share with you before heading to work.

This week was also my brothers birthday. If you’re new around here he passed away three years ago. So that definitely didn’t help lessen my stress.

I talked with my girlfriends (for the people in the back.. YOU NEED GOOD FRIENDS), stayed up late asking Ian all of his opinions and how-tos to eventually help me make a decision.

This entire time I felt like whatever I was going to pick I was going to let God down. I pictured Him having this whole plan for me and me messing it all up because I didn’t choose the right job… (rolling my eyes) Let’s just address that no one has that much power. God gave us the freedom of choice!

We get to choose

I hate that I let myself get so incredibly wrapped up into thinking I could ever disappoint Him. I let the fear of tomorrow completely cripple me. For those of you that have kids, think about how they could never do anything to make you love them less, and we aren’t even close to perfect. Imagine how a perfect, loving Father loves us all the more.

I’ll be honest, I really don’t understand how God works and the why’s to many of the questions I have. But I do know that He tells us that we get to choose. He will never leave us. He will give us the desires of our heart. And He will go before us and make a way for us. He will fight our battles. He will make plans for us to prosper and to succeed. I don’t know about you but He is a God that I want to be friends with and a God that I want to serve.

He is so good. I am so beyond grateful to invite Him into my life and ask Him to walk through it with me. If you haven’t asked Jesus to walk with you through your life yet, I encourage you to think about it. What do you have to lose?

I also want to encourage you to look at your life and think about your ‘red flags’. When you are super stressed, anxious or worried about something, what happens to your body and emotions? Everyone is different so I encourage you to not copy someone else’s answer or example. The faster you can answer this question, the faster your decision making will get better. You’ll be happier and more successful. Listen to yourself and figure out what is best for YOU! When you can’t, call your girlfriends, talk to your man, and pray about it.

I hope this inspired you or encouraged you to send this to someone you know who is struggling! It would mean so much to me if you shared with me how this is helping your life, I love hearing from you! Next week I want to talk about Why Prayer Matters! So, drop your email address in the subscribe box on the right or at the bottom if you’re on your phone! You will get an email each time I post, which is Tuesdays and Fridays. Unsubscribe at any time!

Between posts on the blog, follow me on Instagram and see what I am cooking, diffusing and everything in between over @mrshopehavens! Thanks for being here.

Until next time- HH